Wherein the hero chances upon a compelling mystery!

As I was walking home along the narrow deathtrap of a sidewalk that is 145th St (above, curiously free of cars), I laughed bitterly to myself about a place where the taxpayers clearly have forced the city to protect their precious yards and fences rather than any mere pedestrian against any stray, fun-loving motorists that might come by this way.

This sign is a little down the road. I personally can see the back of my first CD now: "11. (Fuck) Seattle Public Utilities".

Looking out across I-5, and I happened to catch sight of it. (Above, across freeway, center left). 'It' is a tower, standing next to the freeway, on three legs (two visible in photo). It is marked with a cross, and therefore it would be logical to assume that it some sort of evangelical tool. However, I remember, since I was a small boy, my father pointing this tower out when we came north from Seattle. He said it was, in fact, a cell phone tower, and that many cell towers were so disguised as to avoid the notice of local residents. It thusly made a big impression on me insofar as I was, at that point, unaware that anyone would be enough of a dick to hide a cell phone tower in a giant cross-tower-thing.

I at this point realized that there was nothing actually stopping me from going a seeing where this tower was. I crossed the freeway, and turned right a block down. On my right, on the side of the tower, there was at first a tangle of trees and brambles. Then, on my right, there was a building.


Both the geodesic dome and the deep green paint scheme indicated to me this was some sort of lair for Buddhists or environmentalists; anyway, some kind of people that sap our strength and precious bodily fluids. Communists, maybe. Certainly Obama voters.

What did I say?


Whoa! Looking back through the Satanists' parking lot, I saw that the tower was on an adjacent property. Seriously, though, what were the chances that there was another church, here, next to the druids? It probably is a cell tower.

Huh. Well, this one is behind the foul Wiccans, and it the tower isn't on its property, either. Weird. No more churches, though.


God damn it!


GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Anyway, apparently I can't get hooked up with a used bookstore around here, but I can get three churches in a row (four if you count the Baal-worshipers). I hope they stagger their services so I can go to all of them!

It turns out that the cross-tower-whathaveyou is actually on the Vineyard's property abutting the freeway, and might actually be some sort of moronic attempt to win followers via appealing to dimwitted motorists who compulsively visit churches when they see a cross, rather than an elaborate sham to hide the sinister agenda of the telecom industry.

Probably still a cell tower, though.